10/12 - Wed.

Feeling a little better today. Was able to open my backdoor and get some work done in the studio yesterday hwoever, I'm back to not sleeping well - having anxiety attacks that last for hours. My head keeps spinning with what ifs:

• What if you never make your next big goal?
• What if you've wasted this entire year and ALL your money trying to reach a level of success you're not meant to reach?
• What if you end up with nothing, living in the street, all your work and money gone; all your goals reached for nothing....again???
• What if you lose everything - what happens to Bugsy and Tiger? Is Bugsy so dependant on you that he can't live with another owner?
• What if I don't start making a living at what I do? How quickly will the rest of my money go?
• What will you do? What CAN you do if you're meant to lose at life again??????

Earlier this year I set my goals, opened myself up to possibilities and reached almost every goal I set for myself - this is the point where everything I worked for is supposed to happen. My hard work is paying off little by little but I need to make a path that will make my work pay off a little bigger and a little faster.......before my "what if" list becomes reality.

Breath, breath, breath...