10/31 - So I gots me a show

So I gots me a show. Not just any show but a show in NY, in DUMBO actually, and I couldn't be any more happy...relieved really. I was losing faith and starting to believe it wasn't gonna happen but it will - in either March or April, most likely April.

This year, 2011, has been all about becoming the person I've always wanted to be instead of continuing to be the person who says "well, someday I will". I'm not the person I want to be yet but the baby steps I've been able to take this year are starting to get me there.So, I need to make a new goal list - we're in the last quarter of the year so maybe I'll have two - one for Nov and Dec 2011 and another for the first quarter of 2012:

2011:

• Sell artwork - make money!
• Sell extra stuff
• Find a nice sized, clean, quiet, dry, well lit place to move to in Brooklyn and then move there
• Make friends
• Book shows for 2012
• Lose weight, tighten up - get physically ready
• SELL THE F-ing KAYAK!

2012:

• Sign an art rep
• Book participation in at least 6 groups shows in and around NY
• Book 3 one man shows in NY
• Sell, sell, SELL work! Make MONEY!
• Find agent and publisher for book(s)

other goals to be completed in 2012

• Achieve seemingly impossible goals:
• Get in the New Yorker
• Get work in New Museum
• Book shows in Germany, London, Netherlands

All of it sounds nuts but, I've found, when I set definate goals I have a better chance of reaching them.....for the most part. What is it they say: "Fail to plan, plan to fail" - even if the plans seem too big, plan anyway.

For today:

• shower
• have truck towed to mechanic
• go to social security office
• mail out proposals and queries
• clean up Cave
• finish "Waiting"

The old broad with the bun.

10/30 Inside the studio

Although I'm on a mission, sending out letters to publishers and galleries, I though I'd take a break and post some pics of my live/work - the "Cave de la Hermitage'. If you don't know, it's called the "Cave" bc it's made of cinderblock, bricks, and ship timbers. It has 2 skylights, no windows, and water running thru the basement/bottom floor. It's dark, damp, quiet and secure - like a hermit's cave dwelling.

Did mention 1/2 the lights don't work bc oif the water...."issues"?

Main level top upper level.

Where all my work gets started.

The enrepose lounge where all the thinking/napping
 happens.

Messy AND organzied.

Milkglass palletts - just like Norman Rockwell used to use.

Stacked up surfaces, prepped and ready to go. "Waiting" on the easel waiting to be finished.

Reference for Scootertown

Laundry bin - it has wheels!

My Craig Grab clock...it's awesome.

The multi task table - black and white reference photos, Illustrator's Guide to Children's Book Publisher's and Agents, more ref material, black prep paint, coffee, paint splattered key board.

Work waiting to be wrapped.

Stored work.

And the lay about roomies:

Bugsy -  alias' include: Bugsa Boo, Snugsa Boo, Poopy Poos, Whooney Whose, Fun-a-Foos

Ton-a-Toos, Run-a-roos;  Pants, MR. Pants, Poo Poo Bottoms; MR. Loving Lovings, the Handsomes; Mr. Tinklesbottoms, Mr. Tinkles, Tinkley Toos; Bugs, Rugs, Rugs-a-roos, Stinky Pinks,

MR. Tiger Jack - alias: Kittaaaay
.
Sung to an Andrews sister like melody: 
So you made a big poos,
And you're honey honey whos,
Whatcha doin'?
 Kitty, kitty

To view work and less mess go to: Becklane.com/

Contact Jeremiah at UGLY Gallery, New Bedford for purchasing info:

	1 508.264.5747

1 508.264.5747

10/29 - Noon-ish, almost done with "e poi le mie braccia volò via"

"e poi le mie braccia volò via" - oil on acrylic and aerosol, pencil, chalk and oil pastel on 4' x 4' canvas

e poi le mie braccia volò via
(and then my arms flew away)

la medicina tiene abbastanza a bada i miei mostri
(the pretty medicine keeps my monsters at bay)

e così le mie gambe caduto
(and so my legs fell off)

The start

Add caption

Acrylic and aerosol


Full name of work:
e poi le mie braccia volò via,
e così le mie gambe caduto,
la medicina tiene abbastanza a bada i miei mostri

http://becklane.com/

For more info call UGLY Gallery, New Bedford
http://www.facebook.com/pages/UGLYgallery/170878809635850

	1 508.264.5747

                               1 508.264.5747

10/28 pm

I've been sitting on my fat ass for hours researching children's literature agents in NY and publishers in England. I hate sitting.


I also managed to write and rewrite a letter to a rep agnecy - that only took 3 hours to get right.

My head hurts.

Now I will go from sitting, to reclining, from researching and writing to organizing my prints and watching Law and Order season 8.

Tomorrow: we paint.

Lest ye forget - Fish

"Fish" is available for purchase thru Muse Cards in New Bedford MA. 1/2 the proceeds will go to my neighbors at Mercy, Meals and More food program, serving hot meals to over 130 individuals each and every day. 

"Fish" - oil on acrylic on 3' x 5' canvas. Contact Nooshin (new-sheen) at Muse Cards for info:

www.musecards.com/     774-628-9445

mercymeals.org/

10/28 Friday

This week I got a good news/bad news call from a publisher I really, really, really wanted to work with on my book.
Bad news: they aren't going to publisher Scootertown bc the company is phasing out picture books.
Good news: they do want to work with me on other projects - the owner loves the book, loves my site, oves my paintings so the months of work leading up to this may pay off in a way I never expected!
Of course, I'm incredibly dissapointed about the book but it appears I've got a chance to do work in another direction so I can't be sad.

However, I'm back to the drawing board as they say - I have to write queries and submit my book to other publishers and reps. I'm going thru children's book sites and working to determine who I should submit to. It's incredibly time consuming and tedious but if I want to reach my next goal - getting my work on book shelves (...and winning a Caldecott), I have to keep at it. This, like getting my paintings in galleries, is not going to happen on it's own. Dogged determination and blind stick-to-it-ness...that's what I need to have running thru my soul 24/7 till I've reached my goal. Grrrr, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

After my phone call witht he publisher, my first impulse was to give up, let the book goal go because, somewhere in my head, I hear those voices telling me over and over again that I've wasted my time, energy and money on another venture that's never going to go anywhere. My voices are constant and consistant: success is out of reach. My second inpulse is to take a deep breath, shut my head down and meditate into the task at hand.  With or without the voices I worry though - what if either action produces the same result and I'm left here with a very expensive pile of black and white, off set print proofs?

Forge ahead, forge ahead, forge ahead - I have to keep trying to build a network.

On the upside list:
 I made several good connections in the past week -

• the publisher, who I sent a thank you note
• a fantastically talented fellow artist In Providence who's recommended me to a top pop up gallery
• I was offered a show at one of my favorite places in the whole world right now: AS220

In addition, I've got a new place to hang a rotating gallery of work every month: Muse Cards in New Bedford and, then hopefully, I still have a show in Brooklyn coming up....still waiting for a show date.

So, opportunities are out there and happening, I just have to put my head down, stop listening to those voices in my head and keep moving forward. Breath, breath, breath...and keep trying.

To see more of Stories from Scootertown: Run Rabbit Run go to my website: http://becklane.com/

OR

 purchase a copy at Etsy:http://www.etsy.com/listing/82504890/stories-from-scootertown-run-rabbit-run  - each copy comes with a box of crayons!

10/24 Angelina's wheels

Normally when I do a project I can just whip right thru it bc I spend time working on it in my head first. I organize the work, paint it and visualize each step of the painting before I put paint down that way I can whip right thru it and work on organizing a 2nd, 3rd, 4th painting physically, mentally and emotionally as well. However, I didn't work out all the details on "Angelina's wheels" before I started - I sorta did but didn't and figured I had enough confidence in the concept to make it work so "Angelina's" ended up being heavier than what I thought I'd planned out - I think I'm going to do it again in a month or so but next time I'm really going to economize the content and materials so she's a tad more explosive and raw.

All my misgivings aside, am happier with her face:

A few earlier stages included:

NOT my favorite - I was afraid of painitng an image that would appear disrepectful to my model....THAT's when I derailed.. Next time: less laborious thought with a focus on economy.

Again, now:

10/23 Sunday 8 am - Working on work

In a lot of pain this week and my walking has become a little more limited. I keep getting dressed for the gym but I haven't been but once this week. So, I'm shuffling my fat ass around NB in workout clothes - if I saw me, I'd laugh. A fat, middle age woman in stretchy track pants....well that's leaning towards typical!

Although I'm in pain doesn't afford me an excusew to not work on my work. Unless I'm having my seizures, my petite, mini, unsettling, who's shaking my legs and I can't see seizures, I don't have a choice but to do what I was put on this earth to do - I'm an artist. I have to do my work. I just have to be selective about where I spend my energy. So, this is what I spent my energy on Friday night and Saturday:

Friday night:

Prep work - rolled and brushed on spray black paint

Laid down spray paints Friday night, before the Deadstock show at UGLY www.facebook.com/pages/UGLYgallery/170878809635850
 and inserted a bit of context.
Saturday I took my time but inserted the rest of my context and applied colors in acrylic.

The central subject is a doll a friend gave me a few years ago. She's shown up in drawings, prints, illustration and paintings (including "Drowning Lily" and 6' x 9' oil painting

www.becklane.com/past_shows.php ). 

With the black prep work done, spray and acrylics paint applied I've moved on to adding oils - I use Gamblin oils and neo Megilp. The colors and consistency are pure perfection.
www.gamblincolors.com/

                                     

I'm trying to be spare on the canvas this time - I don't want to convolute the flow and make every single section of the canvas full and important. It's important to have some of the work hidden and let the viewer search - I don't want people to be able to look at my work and just know what's going on. IE: It's a tree. I want people to look for their own story or a story they understand in my work - and, less important, maybe look for mine .

The key to painting for me is painting not just between the lines but on the lines and to show a respect for blank space. Filling up every inch of the canvas is like screaming 24/7 - the behavior is predictable and after a while no one cares. Being respectful and mindful of blank space is much more engaging - the brush strokes and color have more impact because the painter isn't demanding the viewer acknowledge how well the painter can copy a piece of the world his/her viewer already knows. Blank space is/can be confusing and a little scary - like a whisper in the middle of a storm.

Got a ways to go but I'm gonna tip toe there instead of charging in like a bull in a beret.

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For puchasing info contact Jeremiah at  UGLY Gallery, 246 Union Street ,New Bedford

1 508.264.5747

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Also visit:  http://becklane.com/

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