09/24 Saturday - the intent and my head

So sometimes I have to take corrective measures in my paintings. Not all the time but sometimes. Normally, I start off with a very clear idea of what I want and I know how to get there - my head does all the work before I physically do the work which started a few years ago as part of a conscious decision to save time, energy and strength. But sometimes, I forget to set up the canvas, relax, put in a movie, get my mind to step aside and let my my head do the work while my mind is distracted and relaxed. And sometimes, my belief in just being able to DO, fools my head into skipping a few steps and that's what's happened with "Angelina's wheels". Had a clear idea of the start of the work, a fairly clear idea how to finish but didn't give my head the time to really work out all the steps in between so I'm stuck reworking and expending more energy and strength than if I'd cleared my head to begin with and let that thing inside my head do all the heavy lifting - all the work (or prework).

When I started "Angelina's" I could have sworn I'd piss right thru it quickly, my head was relaxed but my head didn't have all the steps yet so I ended up taking it in a direction I hadn't intended and I over worked the paint. So, two days ago I found myself staring at a gloppy, messy, doughy face that was supposed to be the face of a happy little girl with smooth smooth skin and easy dimples. I suppose what I had could've passed on some level but I the obvious brush strokes gave an inference that the child is a complicated child, emphasized eye doe eyes and expressed a cartoonish air. In response to the mediocrity of my attempt, I tried smooth more paint over her already badly painted face - that was a waste of time and so I wiped her face (and other choppy, chunky sections of the painting) down. Cleared the work as good as I could, down to the original coats of black paint and some acrylic and oil stains and started relaxing my head again.

One thing I realized is I covered the original swipes of black in ALL the wrong places and conversely tried to hang onto black in more of the wrong places - I reversed what my head wanted to do....I have no idea why. BUT the thing is not to panic, not to force the paint to correct the situation but instead RELAX, don't think....that thing in my head told me to pull out an old painting I did about 5,6 years ago. The center subject and pivotal figure is a baby and I remember putting myself thru the same (mis)steps with that painting. I also remember not having a cleared head, not relaxing and trying too hard to get it right. Everything around baby was dark and her face was too bridal pink white no matter how light I TRIED to make the baby, she came across as ghoulish. It took me a few days of not looking at it to realize I had to mute and lighten the entire little work to give the baby clarity, bouncy and lightness and that's EXACTLY where I am with "Angelina".

I might leave it alone for a few days and let my head clear and do the work but before i get back to it I do know  I have to lighten up the area around her head and face - instead I have to add light, bright colors....both my old painting and my head agree, this is what I should have done to begin with. This is the step I forgot to work out ahead of time. Dummy.

I may have to wipe down more of the work before I go ahead because all the wrong bits will be emphasized if I don't. I don't want her dress to be screaming "I am the key to the message in this painting! I am the story!" which is pretty much what it looks like now - to me anyway. Expressing the true intent behind the work is important, even if it saying the intent in a whisper only audible to a few.
Unfortunately, I expected to have pics of a finished work to post on the blog today but here we are - some of it wiped down and ready to go again. Gotta relax my head first.....hey, if you think the work is bad you should've seem her this morning - doughy-er and PINK, PINK, bridal PINK faced. Yuck....talk about disrespecting the subject and intent....

The orange around her hair and face are the key to getting her right - orange-s are going to lightness, warmth. She's a happy child, excited about her bike. Orange expresses my intent to express her happiness. Maybe NOW I can get her eyes to chill out....they've been a bit buggy...

Tired, frustrated and doughy little me.

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