Saturday, March 12, 2011

Sunday 3 am

Can't sleep. In a lot of pain. Part of having RSD is the constant pain - it never goes away, the pain is always there, the intensity is what changes. And depending on the intensity I can experience what I can only think of as being walking seizures.... I lose some sight and my head goes foggy and I tremble. It gets hard to think, communicate, walk, talk..... and thent here's other times, like now, where the pain is so severe I can't walk and I can't having anything touching the bits of me that hurt which, right now is everythign from my hips down. My sweat pants are causing muscle pain and my skin to feel like it's burning. I'd love to be reading or drawing or painting but I don't have the strength. The pain takes every ounce of strength I have.

I was thinking today about people in Japan, Afghanistan, Iraq, the Sudan, Lybia and people in places all around the world who would appreciate the luxury of being safe enough to complain about something as mondane as pain and especially from a warm home. I was also thinking what a luxury holding vigil for a relative or loved one can be when you're living in devastation. Or what a luxury it is to be able to complain about a job when millions of people would love to have the opportunity to work.

I better try to sleep, it's almost 3:30. Yikes!

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