Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I've been worked with:
  • a broken foot
  • shattered big toe
  • shredded tendons in my back
  • broken nose, fingers
  • and not only continued to with 3 broken ribs but traveled 7 hours to my niece's wedding the day after i broke them 
  • pneumonia, bronchitis, the flu
  • I worked till my (delivery) due date
  • worked while I was diagnosed with tumors; and after I had my hysterctomy (and bled out and had to have surgery to close an artery that had been sliced open; and then walked one mile one day after being released from surgery. Walked two miles my 2nd day out. 
  • 2 weeks after I the hysterctomy, I went on a shceduled Boy Scout training seminar 
My old boss told me to learn how to paint with my feet since my arms didn't work anymore. I tried.

I'm posting about this because I find it hard to fit in. Most people find it easy to get away from doing. They relax, go on vacation, hang out, chill. I can't do it and I don't understand how anyone can. It's not productive, it's lazy and  a waste of time - a waste of time you can't get back. In my mind, if you can walk - walk as far as you can everyday. Don't waste the ability; if you can do - do; if can creat - create. Be as productive as you can everyday all day. Why waste when you can do? Everyday I see dozens of men....MEN coming and going out of the soup kitchen next door and hanging out on the street. It makes me so angry - there's so much they could be doing to push their lives forward but instead, they chose to just sit there. I just don't understand how anyone can just sit there, doing nothing.

Yah know, I don't remember the last day I had that wasn't filled with crippling pain. Before I got sick I walked up to 14 miles a day. Today I'm lucky if I can walk a mile or two but I try, I have to try. I am compelled by the need to try, to push myself.

There really isn't a point to this, I'm thinking a lot of things thru. I'm really thinking I need to move to a place where people actually set goals and then work towards those goals. I need to find people who are driven and have passion. Wonder if I can get out of my lease.....

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