Mon. 05/31

Make no mistake, I'm still not "over" my failure in web design class. Not meaning to be overly dramatic, I am grief stricken and in a panic so bad I keep having nightmares - this web site is/was part of a multi goal process designed to get me started, get my work out there and hopefully into good, active, sales driven, client oriented galleries.

I have so many attainable goals, like the website, that needed to be met - lose 25-35lbs by Memorial, have at least 2 shows a month booked, mailout brocheres and cds, blah, blah blah. They are not done but let me list what I have done this last quarter:

• Learned a few basics in DW
• Learend a few basics in Photoshop
• Joined Lynda.com to learn how to use DW and Photoshop
• Joined an artist's critique group
• Started getting rid of things I don't need
• Taken classes in: Intaglio, Chine Cole; Van Dyke Brown and Gum Bichromate photo processing  
• I've started working on drypoint illustrations
• Had my portfolio photographed and put in a fantastic brochere
• Produced several dozen works
• Bought a kayak and a bike- two pieces of equipment I've been thinking about getting for 6 and 3 years respectively

Although I'm not a big fan of looking back and saying "look what I've done", I think once in a while, right now I have to. I'm overwhelmed with the feeling of failure again and it's paralyzing me. I'm paralyzed with fear and sadness because if I don't get my goals to work and my art to sell I have no where to go and, right now, it looks like I'm going to fail at getting my life to work in any measured way.