Mon. 05/31

Make no mistake, I'm still not "over" my failure in web design class. Not meaning to be overly dramatic, I am grief stricken and in a panic so bad I keep having nightmares - this web site is/was part of a multi goal process designed to get me started, get my work out there and hopefully into good, active, sales driven, client oriented galleries.

I have so many attainable goals, like the website, that needed to be met - lose 25-35lbs by Memorial, have at least 2 shows a month booked, mailout brocheres and cds, blah, blah blah. They are not done but let me list what I have done this last quarter:

• Learned a few basics in DW
• Learend a few basics in Photoshop
• Joined Lynda.com to learn how to use DW and Photoshop
• Joined an artist's critique group
• Started getting rid of things I don't need
• Taken classes in: Intaglio, Chine Cole; Van Dyke Brown and Gum Bichromate photo processing  
• I've started working on drypoint illustrations
• Had my portfolio photographed and put in a fantastic brochere
• Produced several dozen works
• Bought a kayak and a bike- two pieces of equipment I've been thinking about getting for 6 and 3 years respectively

Although I'm not a big fan of looking back and saying "look what I've done", I think once in a while, right now I have to. I'm overwhelmed with the feeling of failure again and it's paralyzing me. I'm paralyzed with fear and sadness because if I don't get my goals to work and my art to sell I have no where to go and, right now, it looks like I'm going to fail at getting my life to work in any measured way.

Sunday 05/29

Well,I just threw in the towel on a class I've been working on for 3 months. Normally, I'm not a quitter. I am not a quitter, quitty pants but this has been one of the most frustrating experiences of my adult life - yes, including taking a class in statistics.

I signed up for a Dreamweaver web design class at RISD. The stated goal was that all students, regardless of experience (or lack of experience) with DW, would have a website in 12 weeks.  Hoqwever, 12 weeks later most of us don't have a site. I don't blame the teacher, I blame RISD - they laid out the carricullum and told our teacher not to veer off the syllabus; 1/2 the time RISD didn't supply a class outline till minutes before class; they supplied us with an assistant teacher who didn't really know DW or how to help teach it; and on top of all that, the computers kept freezing and shutting down. You very simply cannot run a computer class with computers that don't work. The worst part of DW at RISD is that you really need to know how to use DW before you take the DW class which I didn't and don't.

So, 12 weeks, $2,000 and 100s of hours of work later I don't have a single page to put up on the web. I am deeply dissapointed and so frustrated I'm not sure I will bother driving to my last class - I am heartbroken by this RISD "experience".

What's eating at me now (besides all the time, effort and money I've poured into this class) is that for the last month or so I've put everything else on hold - I've had little time for production, my blog, mail outs, etc. I've poured myself into understanding the program so I can reach my web goals in this class and have failed miserably. The setbacks are overwhelming.

Other blogs-

Found a terrific art blog out of New York : http://www.artfagcity.com/
Interantional art: http://www.woostercollective.com/
Variety of artists: http://www.booooooom.com/
A terrifficly informative blog:http://modernartobsession.blogs.com/

Enjoy - I'm off to an Intaglio class at AS220.

Cont'd

  "Malleus Maleficarum" is a 5' x 3', oil on acrylic work intended for the Judith Klein Gallery's show on women's figures; the painting pictured below is about 70% thru.

Monday 05/16

I didn't realize the past two weeks had gone by without me making a single entry till last night when a reader had pointed it out - time does fly.......

Most of my time has been devoted to my web design class lately. The last 2 1/2 weeks specifically. I can't tell you how frustrating this class has been - the minute I think I've got a lesson, turns out I don't and all my content dissapears. I won't get into it now, hopefully soon I'll have a site up and working in spite of me. What I will do is post pics from a painting in the works....pics from the start to now - the almost done step: